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I won’t pretend to be a grammar nazi. Not only do I spell things wrong my fare shaire of the time but use a crap ton of commas, I use the ellipses wrong, and I often just refuse to capitalize. If you want me to deal with predicate nomnitives and properly synch an inferred subject into a tense I’m not willing to think about..well..no.

However, one of my most grating pet peeves is when people just use language wrong. Now, let me qualify this a bit. I’m ok with people taking the language and using it, intentionally, in an inappropriate way. People get their swerve on, somebody is topping a juicer, your Betty’s a chipper, etc. Game on, run with it.

Here’s what bugs me.

Shit like –

— “more than you could imagine”

”Hey Tina, how was the show?”

”Oh dude, there were more people there than you could imagine (insert lol)!”

Bullshit. Let’s ride this pony together.
Imagine this. A hockey arena. The size of the moon. It’s filled with pregnant women. Every pregnant woman has a pregnant baby on her shoulders. Pregnant babies. I’m imagining pregnant babies in order to prove you wrong. Did your concert have fucking pregnant babies? Well, it’s Phoenix so probably one.

There were more fucking people at your Kanye show than that?
Really? More people than I can imagine?

Fuck you.

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